![The musings and jollies of an [spoooky voice] aatheisst.](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx7KzwiTiugj6chYtOn-fcmbMUFvfHA5as8JQp1RTqoVJmMhsvt6GM5wJtKfb2cIBoMkLthUsay-XdpAnCDHsKrkOB6g-coZJOePBOyDzUOztWUv2WlDM3HWqtFkzqMFVaV0bKzx25H-I/s1600/Blank+1px+square+trans+-compressed.png)
Genesis 16:3-4
So,
after Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Sarai, Abram's wife,
took Hagar the Egyptian, her servant, and gave her to Abram her husband as a
wife. And he went in to Hagar, and she conceived.
And when she saw that she had conceived, she looked with contempt on her
mistress.
-----
Abram (later known as Abraham. Yeah, that Abraham) having sex with another
woman.
Most guys in the church nowadays would be humiliated
or disciplined/fired if their wife threw a younger woman at them saying “make
babies with this!”… and doing just that.
To Abra(ha)m’s good fortune, God's plan included bedding his maid to become “the father of many nations.” Yahweh seems pretty chill with the oft-occurring polygamy and extra-marital sex in the Old Testament.
(v4-5)The moment it became apparent that Hagar conceived (a main side effect of sex), Sarai gets mad at Abram for doing what she told him to do. Amiright fellas~
(v6)Abram smoothly diffuses the situation by telling Sarai "she's your slave, you deal with her!" Whatever Sarai did following resulted in Hagar fleeing from the screwy couple into the wilderness.
Rough month for everyone involved. "Have sex with my husband!" soon followed by "I hate that you've had sex with my husband!" Couldn't have even been that good, the guy was just over 85 years old.
(v7-9)An angel finds Hagar in the wilderness and tells her "hey, you know that crazy, mean old couple you're busy escaping from? Return to them."
So Hagar returned to Abram and Sarai, having been promised, (v10-12) by the angel of the Lord, that not only would she have a son, but her lineage would be great beyond number.
Jump ahead in time, probably around the time Abram's nephew, Lot, is having bastard children being born from his daughters whom he had drunken sex with in a cave. Abram is now named Abraham and Sarai is now Sarah- and now bouncing baby Ishmael.
(21:10)Well, Sarah is still giving Hagar the stink eye (like the good, Jewish woman of faith she is) and she confesses that she doesn't care much for Ishmael either. And to give this story a summed-up beginning, middle and end: not only does Abram have kids with his servant, (21:14) fourteen years later he disposes of his had-no-say-in-the-matter Egyptian slave by casting her and her/his son into the wilderness.
(21:19-21)But don't worry, young Ishmael only almost dies in the wilderness! Yahweh saves Ishmael and Hagar from dying of dehydration and they continue to live in the wilderness for a few more years. Thus the quirky origin story of the present-day recognized patriarch of Islam.
(v4-5)The moment it became apparent that Hagar conceived (a main side effect of sex), Sarai gets mad at Abram for doing what she told him to do. Amiright fellas~
(v6)Abram smoothly diffuses the situation by telling Sarai "she's your slave, you deal with her!" Whatever Sarai did following resulted in Hagar fleeing from the screwy couple into the wilderness.
Rough month for everyone involved. "Have sex with my husband!" soon followed by "I hate that you've had sex with my husband!" Couldn't have even been that good, the guy was just over 85 years old.
(v7-9)An angel finds Hagar in the wilderness and tells her "hey, you know that crazy, mean old couple you're busy escaping from? Return to them."
So Hagar returned to Abram and Sarai, having been promised, (v10-12) by the angel of the Lord, that not only would she have a son, but her lineage would be great beyond number.
Jump ahead in time, probably around the time Abram's nephew, Lot, is having bastard children being born from his daughters whom he had drunken sex with in a cave. Abram is now named Abraham and Sarai is now Sarah- and now bouncing baby Ishmael.
(21:10)Well, Sarah is still giving Hagar the stink eye (like the good, Jewish woman of faith she is) and she confesses that she doesn't care much for Ishmael either. And to give this story a summed-up beginning, middle and end: not only does Abram have kids with his servant, (21:14) fourteen years later he disposes of his had-no-say-in-the-matter Egyptian slave by casting her and her/his son into the wilderness.
(21:19-21)But don't worry, young Ishmael only almost dies in the wilderness! Yahweh saves Ishmael and Hagar from dying of dehydration and they continue to live in the wilderness for a few more years. Thus the quirky origin story of the present-day recognized patriarch of Islam.
No comments:
Post a Comment