Dear theists of the Internet,
below are several uninformed things many theists have said to me when the topics of a/theism, religiosity, or secularism are discussed online. I realize that many of these things are said with good intentions or out of ignorance, but they in fact are quite douchey and don't inspire useful conversation. Such words only serve to reinforce an image of immaturity and an extreme absence of understanding concerning the philosophy of theology and a/theism. While these are all primarily things the less educated and/or less confident theists parrot from their ministers and friends, I figured I'd throw out a few personal responses. (that was me admitting that this is mostly low-hanging fruit)
I write these as my responses, not as anything representative of atheism or the stance of other atheists. My responses aren't meant to be expansive or thorough, just little nuggets amongst the vast tabletop spread of theological discussion.
With succulent, secular love,
"You hate God."
I hate Yahweh like I hate ___________.
a) Count Dracula
b) Emperor Palpatine
c) Joffrey Baratheon
d) Jar Jar Binks
e) [other deplorable fictional character]
"There are no atheists in foxholes/plane troubles/hospital beds."
You think a near-death experience will "wake me up"... If I was likely desperate, not thinking straight, and/or fearful I'd consider your supernatural claims? Disparaging the integrity of others in such a manner is extremely petty and comes across as insecure and pretentious. This is the same manner of insecurity expressed in the "you were never a true Muslim/Christian" accusation.
'There are no actual Christians on hospital beds, they'll also pray to the gods of other religions out of desperation and fear because they secretly doubt what they claim to believe.' ^See how nasty and ignorant that sounds?